Fear is a powerful emotion. Believe me, I know. I live with a lot of fear lately. It seems I have a pretty strong fear of death. Last week with my pneumonia, I thought I was going down and it really scared me. I have had a few close brushes with death in the past few years and like to believe that I am ready. I believe that God has a wonderful paradise waiting for me. So why am I scared?
This week I am off to Kelowna hospital for an angiogram to determine what kind of vessel blockages I have around my heart. My main aortic valve is highly calcified and only works at 25% capacity. Combined with my myeloma which limits my hemoglobin and red blood cells, I struggle getting oxygen to my cells all day, every day.
Lots of weakness and chest pain. Heart surgery could change all that.
But here comes the fear. Many kidney patients end up dying from heart issues. It is scary.
I have been praying lots and ask that all of you pray for me. Let God know that you think I might still be an asset on this planet. Let him know that I am still willing to further his works. Pray for my strength and healing please.